"Piercing the Veils" ((Inuyoko Mass #6))
*looks around and smiles a half-smile* Hello, everyone. My name is Inuyoko T'Alveni, and I am a Priestess of Deoch since Deoch 53. Thank you for coming to my Mass this sun. I must confess, I've suffered from a bit of a depression this past double-moon. The kind of malaise that coerces one's action and spirit in a direction opposite of that which Deoch would compel us. Inactivity and apathy. As such, I've spent a lot of time retired to my quarters, living in the worlds of my dreams.
It had me thinking a lot about the nature of dreams, and creativity, and heresy. We condemn heresy in these lands, and I certainly don't disagree with that. At times I've heard things from fellow Sparks which to my ears rang as the tolls of madness. A knell that can compel one to question even one's own sanity. And I have found that in my moments of rousing, the utterances of heretics take on a semblance of sense. I believe this is a false clarity, to be clear. But, I have likewise felt this after leaving the world of a piece of literature. I have felt it as the covers of a tome of long-passed history are pressed together like a portal closing before me after a strange journey. Indeed, I have felt it even after leaving the halls of the gods in Kadath for the first time, or upon my return from my first visit to Medenia not so long ago.
Regardless of which of these experiences are the most 'real' in an objective sense, the fact that we endure them at all means they become a part of us. Like the way the oddities and mannerisms of a friend or a lover do. Or the lines of our favorite play which we cannot help but repeat at every opportunity. I once heard someone say that they are as a person an amalgamation of everyone who they have ever loved, and that is the spirit that I carry with me for stories and histories and dreams well.
In previous Masses, I discussed some of my thoughts on what the nature of our spark is. I talked about the duality of Deoch's past and present and how we share in a similar duality. I can't claim to know the true nature of the gods, or of our spark, but I continue to believe that this is all a part of His gift to us. We are not gods, but we share in a piece of their essence. We have a capacity within us to pierce the myriad veils which exist in our world -- the wall between our own experiences and others', the fog between dreams and realities, the veil between our grey realm and Kadath, and so much more. But this power is not infinite.
For me, perhaps the most difficult veil to pierce is the one between the Mundanes and ourselves. I can't say that I remember in any great detail what kind of person I was before I was sparked. Not to say that no one can, but I've never met someone who has told me they do. I'd love to hear from them if anyone can. Anyway, I can remember certain facts and events, but the actual experience of it eludes me, and perhaps that too is an effect of our gift, of our rebirth, or reawakening. Or perhaps it's just an inescapable part of reality for all beings. The reason why we could not return to the state before the power of the elements was harnessed. The time before darkness was discovered... If the stories of Deoch as a mortal man are to believed, can he still truly embody the experiences of that time, or simply recall them? Can a Mundane recall the experience of the time before they were born? I don't know the answers, but my faith demands this sort of curiosity.
I apologize if the subject of this Mass seems a bit unfocused...it is the result of that malaise that I spoke of that my mind has only been able to formulate questions, and little insight. Perhaps that isn't such a bad thing. In uncertainty there is curiosity. In curiosity there is the unknown. In the unknown there is awe and rapture. And in rapture there is connection with Deoch.
Mass is cast.
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